Drivers? Oh, Drivers! A Looming Crisis…

In Britain, there are currently two crises. One, the claim that supermarket shelves are empty, is largely a mirage or lie spread by Remainers; the other, that petrol pumps are running dry, is real, but due primarily to panic-buying caused by doom-mongering reports. Yet, although neither is ‘real’, they both reflect a very-real crisis that is brewing, and has been for years, due to a decline in the number of HGV drivers. With fewer drivers, it is becoming difficult to ensure deliveries will arrive and, though the supermarket shelves may not be empty today and the pumps are mostly only dry because they have been drained by idiots, we could soon see both empty in the near future.

But, why?

It’s Brexit, innit?

It is no coincidence that the tales of empty shelves and the reports that petrol pumps would run dry were mostly spread by the BBC and, online, by Remainers. As well as taking delight in an imagined ‘we told you so’ situation, blaming the lack on Brexit was potent propaganda for those who would like to undo the referendum result. After all, if Brexit has left us in a mess, surely we should petition the EU to let us back in?

Except, of course, that the lack of HGV drivers has very little to do with Brexit.

There is no one reason for the lack of drivers, so, just as Brexit cannot be claimed as the sole cause, Brexit cannot be entirely exonerated from playing a role. However, especially given that the problem has been growing for years, most of which were whilst the UK was in the EU, Brexit cannot be the primary cause. Indeed, the lack is one that affects Europe as well…

The Expulsion Myth

One claim that pops up repeatedly in Remainer myth-making is that the lack of drivers is due to Britain having ‘expelled’ European HGV drivers. This is easily demolished by the fact that there was no mass expulsion of Europeans following Brexit. All Europeans who were living in the UK were entitled to apply for Settled Status. Thus, drivers who wished to continue working could do so.

It is estimated that around a third of European drivers left the UK following Brexit, for a total of around 12,000. This sounds like a lot, but when you consider that there are 100,000 less drivers available since the pandemic began, Britain would still be nearly 90,000 short even if they had all remained. Their absence doesn’t help, but can hardly be credited with being a major cause of any problems.

And, though we can say that those 12,000 left, we cannot say what their exact reasons were. Some, undoubtedly, will have been largely or entirely due to Brexit, if they thought applying for Settled Status was too much hassle or were turned down for some reason, or if they decided they didn’t feel welcome anymore. But, there had been a decline in East European drivers prior to Brexit as the stagnant pay and conditions in the UK were countered by increasing wages in their home countries – people who had come to Britain because they could earn more to send home found they could earn almost as much, if not the same or more, in their own countries, allowing them to spend more time with their families, and probably make more when you factored in lower living costs.

Then, of course, we have the pandemic, which may have caused some to decide to return home rather than risk being stuck in a different country to their families for who-knew-how-long. Probably, for many, it was a mix of factors.

Europe has problems, too

If you were to read a Remainer social media post on the issue, you’d likely see it claimed that Britain’s shelves are empty, whilst those in Europe are groaning with goods. Of course, if there are any empty supermarket shelves in the UK, it’s not a significant issue. But, the idea that Europe is replete with HGV drivers is actually a myth.

Yes, Europe is facing a shortage, too, of around 400,000 across the EU.

As the EU hasn’t left itself, and, indeed, has received a boost of some 12,000 drivers from the UK, I think it is safe to assume the shortage there has nothing to do with Brexit. So, why make the connection without evidence on this side of the Channel? Much the same problems afflict both the continent and Britain.

5000 Special Visas

The UK government has pledged to offer 5000 special visas to European drivers, although, given the total lack, this is really just a bandaid and a sop to shush critics.

However, claims by Remainers that this somehow proves Brexit was a failure or the government is making a u-turn on immigration shows that they still don’t understand the issues involved. No reasonable Leaver ever claimed that there would be no need for migrant workers or that Europeans should be banned from these shores, despite the feverish imaginations of certain Remainers. What people wanted was control over who could come to the UK and a level playing-field between Europeans and people from elsewhere in the world, especially the Commonwealth. Choosing to make more visas available and for a limited period doesn’t invalidate either of those concepts; in fact, it is an example of the first.

The One Good Remainer Argument

Although most Remainers’ claims have been nonsense, I did see one argument in the letters pages of the latest Private Eye that made a good point and demonstrated why it would have been so much better had Remainers and Leavers engaged in civilised dialogue rather than a slanging match.

The point was that many European countries restrict or prohibit deliveries by HGVs at weekends, whilst the UK does not. Thus, if they weren’t restricted by Brexit, we could have had them crossing the Channel to take up the slack at weekends.

Of course, this wouldn’t entirely alleviate the problems and a lack of casual HGV drivers from Europe isn’t a major cause of the current lack in the UK, and there would be those who might wish to follow the Europeans’ lead on restricting weekend deliveries, but it does show how, with the focus on fighting over Brexit, even now, the potential for creative answers has been ignored.

So, what are the reasons?

As Brexit is just one, and not a major, reason for the lack of drivers, what are? There are three main issues afflicting the sector, the interplay of which has caused the lack.

Age

With few new drivers entering the industry (see below), the age of drivers had been going up. This means that drivers are retiring due to their age or because they find the job too hard and aren’t being replaced.

Pay and Conditions

Pay for HGV drivers in the UK has stagnated for years, especially when you consider the ridiculously-long hours many work and the poor conditions (like having to sleep in their cabs). Once, the pay looked good compared to that in Eastern Europe, but, as noted, pay has increased there and European drivers have headed home rather than stay.

Given that it can be a tough job, the poor pay is hardly enticing for young people to enter the industry, meaning there aren’t new drivers joining as old ones depart, whether Europeans heading home or older drivers retiring. Without improvements, existing drivers will continue to quit and won’t be replaced.

Licences

Ironically, even if a young person wants to enter the world of the HGV driver, they will often find they can’t. The cost of becoming one is ridiculously high, especially when you consider the pay and conditions are hardly enticing. But, there is also a lack of test availability and a backlog of licences being issued. Even those who could be driving are often unable to because they just cannot qualify.

Other Reasons

Tax increases for some self-employed workers have made it less economical to be a driver and, then, we have the pandemic, which has caused disruption to deliveries and likely affected driver numbers.

The Global Angle

It’s not just the UK and EU that are suffering a lack of drivers. The USA is, too. Then, we have the disruption of shipping due to the pandemic and the blocking of the Suez Canal, and a global lack of shipping containers. Now, there is also talk of China cutting back on production in order to hit its targets in cutting pollution.

Training and recruiting more drivers would improve things, but even if the UK had a surfeit of drivers there would still be a risk of shortages if goods cannot get to Britain or there are no goods to deliver.

Britain is particularly vulnerable to shortages as it has allowed both its agricultural and industrial production to decline and is an island nation that requires goods to arrive via plane or ship. The malaise that has seen the UK become overly-reliant upon imports is the same malaise that has seen the lack of HGV drivers go untackled for so long. Ironically, given the way Remainers have seized upon the situation, it was those in power, who abdicated so much of their authority  to the EU and sacrificed British productivity on the altar of European integration, who allowed this situation to form and fester.

Reforms

Will Boris Johnson grasp the nettle and carry out the major reforms needed to ensure that the current manufactured crisis doesn’t transform into a very-real one? Can he? Or, will he do as previous Prime Ministers have done and mouth a few platitudes and leave the mess for his successor to sort out?

Time will tell. But, perhaps, most of all, can the UK finally come together and face the necessary changes, or will people continue to bicker and fight whilst the country falters on the edge of the abyss?

You wouldn’t Credit it…

Over the last few months, I have been helping a friend apply for Universal Credit as they don’t have internet access and possess few computer skills. I had long dreaded, based on what I’d read about it, having anything to do with Universal Credit, but must admit I was pleasantly surprised at the ease with which completing the initial application went. If you need to apply and are worried about the initial step, be reassured it isn’t too difficult.

However, I cannot vouch that you will be happy with the benefit after that as, following the application process, things stalled. A message appeared saying we would be told how much my friend would be getting on a certain date. The date came and went and there was no information on how much benefit my friend would receive. The payment date came and went – nothing. The original message is still there, mocking us, a couple of months on.

A query about payment brought a response that we needed to confirm my friend’s address. No mention of how. A further query elicited the information that we needed to re-enter it. Done, the taunting and out-pof-date message remained and there was still no payment. Further queries yeileded nothing.

Unable to work and self-employed, so unable to be furloughed, my friend is stuck in limbo without any money, with further queries going unanswered. Universal Ceredit is, in my opinion, utterly unfit for purpose – and, I dread the possibility that I might yet end up on it myself.

Catch 22 Benefits Botch

Private Eye (issue 1493) reports  that there are nearly 4000 fewer computers in England’s public libraries than there were in 2010, yet whilst at least 20% of unemployed people don’t have internet access at home (not to mention those who don’t actually have a home), the government insists that applications for benefits be done online. Of course, there may be places such as shops and banks with public wifi but, besides security issues, that relies upon unemployed people being able to reach such places (not always easy if you don’t have a car or money for public transport, or have limited mobility) and having a smart phone, tablet or laptop, which they probably can’t afford.

Of course, it’s a brilliant way to save money – if people can’t claim benefits in the first place, you don’t need to pay anything out. But, whether it’s due to those in charge being cynical scum or just so out of touch with those in dire straits that they can’t comprehend a life without an iPhone and broadband, it’s a disgusting indictment of the state of Britain and its attitude towards those most in need in help.

If the government wants society to go online, which is far from a great idea, it must ensure that everyone has access to the internet. Anything else is just plain wrong.

Latest Update

Well, it seems a couple of posts from earlier this year have vanished from here, leaving the early part of the year denuded of content. Still…

Finally losing my patience with the Work Programme, I decided to take the plunge and go self-employed as a freelance writer. Well, there was a lot of paperwork (and the need to hang on the phone in order to request said paperwork!), but finally, that’s all out of the way and I find myself wishing I’d done this years ago rather than wasting my life trying and failing to get a ‘real’ job.

Of course, it’s early days and it could still all go wrong, and it’s incredibly hard work, but I no longer have that sense of pointlessness that dealing with the Jobcentre and SEETEC engendered. Suddenly, my entire day is spent doing something positive with my life, not box-ticking and time-filling ‘activities’ to satisfy some idiot somewhere with no grasp of the real world.

As I grope my way to a suitable schedule, hopefully more regular posts on here will be part of that. But, in the meantime, all I have to say is that being self-employed has a lot to recommend it!

SEETEC – See Failure

I had assumed I would write an update on my misadventures through the government-mandated tasks ostensibly intended to get me into work, but I reckoned without SEETEC. No, they weren’t efficient and successful, quite the opposite. Unfortunately, as far as writing posts goes, they failed to provide much inspiration.

The idea of my being sent to SEETEC is that they will find me a work placement to give me work experience and provide me with advice and support in order to help me into work. That’s the theory. In practice, my advisor quit a few days after I started (I didn’t take it personally) and I have yet to be assigned another, leaving me in an unsupported limbo. As she was the only person at SEETEC who was actually trained to deliver the Community Work Program (CWP), her disappearance has meant that even those ‘clients’ with advisors are in something of a limbo as nobody can provide CWP-specific advice! Neither have I been found a placement, so all I’m doing is turning up for one afternoon a week to do the jobsearch I could be doing, more efficiently, at home, without wasting time walking to SEETEC.

Ironically, given I couldn’t do the Entrepreneur program due to the ban on ‘double funding’, I’ve spent more than the maximum eight weeks allowed to produce a business plan twiddling my thumbs on the CWP. So, instead of working on a business plan and progressing on a course to getting off benefits and paying less in benefits than JSA, I’ve continued to receive JSA whilst stuck in limbo. I’m sure all the British taxpayers out there are delighted to know their money is used so wisely – especially when you consider that SEETEC is being paid from the taxpayers’ purse for this non-service! It’s nice to know somebody is profiting, at least!

A Foolish Finale, or The System Sucks

Having made my way through the Employability Skills course and the subsequent rerun at The Gatherings, it was clear that the course I ought to follow was that of going freelance through the NEA self-employment program. So, I was booked to attend the introductory meeting. If I made the grade, I’d have twenty-six weeks of lower benefits than I receive on JSA (halved at the halfway point) was safety-net while I set myself up. It would be tough and there would be the option to cut-and-run without penalty if things didn’t work out during those twenty-six weeks, but I was determined to make it work.

As you may guess from the title of this post, it didn’t quite work out like that…

No. Unfortunately, my turn on the Community Work Program (CWP) was due and I was booked to attend the induction on the afternoon after attending the NEA meeting. What I didn’t know and nobody at the Jobcentre seemed to realise is that, thanks to EU rules on double-funding of course, you cannot be booked to both programs simultaneously. And, of course, the CWP takes precedence. So, suddenly, I find myself locked into six-months of mandatory ‘voluntary’ work, with no chance of deferring it. Ironically, this will be paid at full rate – rather than the reduced rates of taking the NEA pathway. Yes, rather than save money by funding me to do something I really wanted to do and which had a high chance of getting me off benefits, they’re forcing me to do something I have absolutely no desire to do, on a program which, from past experience, will do nothing to actually address the real barriers to work that I face.

So, I’m left with three choices. I can attempt to go it alone, perhaps finding assistance from some other source; unfortunately, as I don’t envision making much money, it’s quite possible I could end up unable to pay the mandatory National Insurance contributions, something the reduced rate NEA benefit would have helped cover (not to mention, where I’d stand with my student loan). Or, I can attend the CWP and do everything I must and there’s an outside chance I may land a job, and, if not, I can do the NEA in six months time. Or, I can sabotage the CWP, doing my best to avoid getting a job, to ensure that I’ll still be on benefits in six months in order to be able to do the NEA, with the attendant probability of losing my benefits altogether (as well as completely wasting six months of my life). Of course, the latter two options both assume that I don’t lose my motivation in the interim and decide to abandon the idea.

So, I’m left with deciding whether I prefer the devil or the deep blue sea. If the system worked better, there would be no decision to make and I’d be making a go of going it alone. Ian Duncan Smith should be proud of himself.

Jobsearch: The Gatherings

I’ve now moved on to ‘The Gatherings’ – essentially a silly name for some more group meetings at which the Jobcentre staff will impart wisdom to us in the guise of a Candid Camera skit. Honestly, I was beginning to wonder if the initial session would be revealed as a practical joke as the Jobcentre had surpassed itself in its silliness. Sadly, it seems they were entirely serious.

Between the half-hour meeting and the time taken to get there and home, I’d taken an hour out of my jobsearch in order to be told how to create an Universal Jobsearch account (something I’d had for years) and be told that the course they’d just sent us on was wrong to tell us we should adapt our CV to suit each job we apply for. Which not only makes a mockery of the claims that said course would supply us with amazing insights into the job application process (already a bad joke as it was) but calls into question why they paid to send us on it if they’re just going to tell us to ignore what they told us.

Even had I not been using Universal Jobmatch for years, the session was useless as it merely covered the same ground as the group meeting I attended after returning to the Jobcentre from Ingeus and the handout could easily have been passed on by our advisers rather than requiring two members of staff to present it – one who was silent throughout.

 

Session Two

The second session didn’t start so well. I was on time, but was told to wait in the wrong place, resulting in my missing the 2pm session and having to join the 2.30 session instead – deleting a further half-hour from my jobsearch. I must add, however, that I did receive an apology for being made to miss my session – quite possibly a first from a Jobcentre employee!

So, what topic were we studying? CVs. Yes, I spent just under half-an-hour listening to a staff member (just the one, this time) read from a handout about CVs. Again, why they couldn’t just hand out the handout, I’ve no idea. Besides being aimed at idiots, whereas I’ve got a good CV that stands a chance of landing me an interview if I’m ever allowed to actually apply for jobs, it seems ridiculous to cover the topic again when we’ve just covered it on the course we were on. It really seems an utter waste of time and money to be duplicating effort. And, given that the first session had told us to ignore advice about adapting CVs to each job we apply for, today we were once more told to do just that. You’d think they could at least make sure their advice was coherent…

 

Session Three

More CV waffle. There are still only three of us in the group and I really don’t need to be here. If only they would expend their time and energy on providing the specific help that one of my fellow attendees needs. They have a problem with computers – a case of not ‘clicking’ with the necessary mindset – and need targeted help to enable them to carry out the required tasks (such as using Universal Jobsearch). All requests for help are met with rebuffs (the onus is on us, as they love to keep reminding us, and little help or advice is forthcoming, even for those who need assistance to make the initial steps towards self-sufficiency) and frequent detours into how important it is to use computers in the digital age and how not doing so will see benefit payments stopped –  hardly a useful approach for someone who is already anxious and confused. That, of course, is if they even answer the actual question that was asked.

I find myself having to translate what they’ve said out of the garbled and meandering language they’ve used into clear English and then offer practical suggestions as to how to comply with the demands made of them. Everything that the advisers running the course should have done.

Having worked in education and in assisting jobseekers with learning difficulties into work, as well as having been unemployed more than once, seeing the Jobcentre and other providers at their best and worst, I think I am qualified in saying that the provision is abysmal.

 

Session Four

Interview skills. We’ve now absorbed the other group for this gripping session. Apparently, the person who’s supposed to tell us all about going to interview is on holiday and has left no notes on the topic, so the chap taking it has spent ten minutes googling interview skills. In an indictment of the course so far, the scribbled notes he’s produced from those ten minutes are far superior to anything else we’ve been told. Still substandard, but a definite improvement.

We’re told we’re not in tomorrow, Friday, because he has no idea what topic he is supposed to be covering. It’s nice to be guaranteed a full afternoon to jobsearch, but it doesn’t say much about the quality of the planning. Apparently we’re back on Monday for a further week’s worth, although details are sketchy. He even had to ask if we were on the first or second week of the Gatherings. If Ian Duncan Smith really wants to sort out the unemployment statistics, he could stop wasting his time on the botched Universal Credit and just overhaul the Jobcentres to ensure efficiency.

 

Week Two

Session Five

More on applications and interview skills, which, as per usual, we’d covered on the course we’ve just done and I’ve done several times before. Nothing tomorrow as they’re doubling up the work for Wednesday, as there’s so little of it; but we do have homework to further waste our time – filling in a pretend application form.

It’s mentioned that we’ve already covered this on the course.

“So, you should be extra confident,” the tutor says.

“Or, will be extra frustrated,” I respond, irked.

She immediately asks how long I’ve been unemployed and says, “Well, obviously whatever you’re doing isn’t working.” (Well, certainly, in a literal sense that’s true – what I’m doing is sitting in a room wasting my time when I could be jobsearching. In the sense she means it, well, I’m doing exactly what they’re rehashing, so her words must be an indictment of these ‘Gatherings’.)

I’ll have to leave out the rest of what she said as I made a formal complaint about it. Suffice to say, it reflected the non-existent levels of professionalism we’ve come to expect from the Jobcentre. I can honestly say I have absolutely no confidence or trust  in the Jobcentre at all.

 

Session Six

Today we moved from useless rehashing to just plain useless. Now, I don’t find mock interviews at all useful as they lack the adrenalin and import of the real thing, so I wasn’t going to be too satisfied with today, but, oh dear… We have to interview each other (half today, half tomorrow, in order to string this farce out). So, it’s not only mock interviews, it’s mock interviews mostly by people who are nervous and don’t really know what they’re doing. Then, to make the exercise especially futile, rather than giving the interviewees feedback (rather the point of the exercise, one would imagine) it’s the interviewers who are asked how they felt about it and are given the feedback! Ridiculous!

The only potential explanation I can think of is that this was meant more as a confidence building exercise than an attempt to improve our interview skills. But, if that’s the case, it’s a waste a time as not only do I feel as if my jobsearch momentum has been well and truly halted, but one of my fellow attendees (who was also on the course) has had their confidence trashed over the course of the Gatherings by the constant threats of having our money stopped to the extent they were on the verge of tears as we waited to go in. Not that I could blame them, given my agitated I was feeling.

Surely the aim of the exercise is to make sure we’re ready for work, not grind us down so that we lose our confidence, lose our momentum and are on the verge of nervous breakdowns? Unless the real aim is just that, in order to save money by stopping our benefits the moment we fail to meet expectations?

 

Session Seven

Those who were interviewed yesterday return to do the interviewing. No more helpful, but at least comments are directed at the interviewee today. The session barely makes it to twenty minutes, and a good chunk of that time is devoted to the staff member pausing to tell someone on work experience what we’ve been doing. A waste of time, but the least worst waste of time since the gatherings began.

 

Session Eight

Having already been reduced from ten sessions to eight, the Gatherings ended with a whimper rather than a bang as nobody had any questions concerning the course, leaving us to complete our feedback forms and, then, leave. Needless to say, I gave them fairly lengthy criticism. I then met with the team leader who apologised for the incident the other day and the poor quality of the course and who did actually seem interested in trying to improve the Gatherings, as well as offer me some practical assistance. I left somewhat mollified and hopeful that things might improve for future attendees, even if, as is usually the case, the staff are straightjacketed by the demands of their superiors. I was also able to book an appointment with my advisor, with the hope that I might be able to move onto their self-employment scheme and leave the Jobcentre behind. We shall see…

If nothing else, I was sorry to see the end of the Gatherings… plus, I’ve had two apologies in as many weeks from Jobcentre staff – a distinct improvement in itself!

 

Final Thought

If the Jobcentre put its staff to work actually helping us into work rather than wasting our time, we would probably all be employed. But, that would actually require them to do some work, wouldn’t it? Instead, they concentrate on ticking boxes.

Potentially Employabale…

The saga of my time on the ‘Employability Skills’ course ended rather abruptly as I was summoned home to return a call from an employment agency, having completed the end-of-course paperwork. That phone call, along with another the night before and the one mentioned in my last post, may indicate that, despite all expectations, just having attended the course, despite learning absolutely nothing, I have somehow magically become more employable: between January and the start of the course in late August I’d only had one or two calls from employers, as opposed to the three in the two weeks on the course. Not, unfortunately, that any of the three calls has actually led to a job. But, still, it seems that I’m doing something right, even if it’s merely allowing myself to be bathed in the secret magic of this course.

The penultimate day of the course did, however, show what might have been had it not been burdened with so much paperwork and silly, time-wasting activities: able to interact with each other and the tutor unfettered, there was a positive atmosphere. In addition, compared to the rudimentary nature of the rest of the course, the interview skills and mock interview were of some slight use and the chance for the tutor to sit down and actually discuss our goals as individuals without having to tick books was actually useful. Had the entire course been like that it would have been far more interesting and potentially quite useful. It’s a shame that Ian Duncan Smith is more interested in having us tick boxes than actually doing anything worthwhile to get us back to work…

The end – till the next farcical, box-ticking exercise…

Am I halfway employable yet?

Well, I’ve completed a week of the Employability Skills course and I’m yet to be made any more employable. In fact, I’ve been made a little less employable as I missed a phone call from an employer who wanted to invite me to invite me to interview. So, not only am I learning nothing whilst being slowly driven out of my mind, but I actually missed out on a chance to land on a job because I was twiddling my thumbs in a classroom rather than being available to contact. I’m really not sure how that adds up to a positive use of my time.

The course continues to be an abysmal waste of time, even with the hours pared back to a minimum. One fellow learner opined, as we left today, that if we did it full time, we could be done in under a week. To be honest, I could probably have been done in a morning.

The thing that really makes it unbearable is that both the course folder and the tutor have a tendency to use words loosely or even misuse them (to pick a more egregious example, we’re asked a question about ‘information’, only it’s actually about the formats in which information comes, not information itself). At least now we know that if we’re asked for an example the odds are that what is wanted is no mere example but a detailed example.

I could go on at length about how bad the course itself if and how badly taught it is, about the ridiculously easy nature of the literacy and numeracy tests, or about the amount of dead time doing nothing, but it would solve no greater purpose. If you’ve read my last post, you’ll have an idea of how bad things are and I can promise you that there has been no improvement since we left the paperwork behind. If I don’t post again, it will be because I’ve lost the will to live…

A Distinct Lack of Employability Skills

Having been unemployed (in the paying sense – I keep busy!) for some time, the Jobcentre decided it was time I did another course. This one was billed as a wonder course that would unlock the secrets of getting a job, but it turned out to be NCFE Level 1 Employability Skills, which is exactly the same as such courses I’ve done before, only this time it seems I get a certificate at the end of it! Yippee! Of course, it’s of lower value than a GCSE, so to me it’s worth about as much as toilet paper, but perhaps somebody somewhere is delighted to receive it. Although I doubt it.

Okay, so we’re all there for the start time of nine o’clock. Except the tutor. She finally arrived, having travelled all the way from Brighton and been caught in a tailback due to an accident, twenty minutes later. Alright, you can’t help accidents, but it’s hardly an auspicious start to a course that includes a form asking us if we need help with things such as punctuality, and which is intended to instil in us a readiness for the world of work. We’re ready, but I’m not so sure about the tutor. Especially as she seems rather disorganised when she finally does arrive. There are folders we require to actually do any work for this course and they haven’t been brought to the classroom. She makes a call and they finally arrived forty minutes later. In the meantime, we’re put to work killing time by interviewing our neighbour – a task that is never referenced again and was clearly intended as filler until the folders arrived.

Right, an hour late, but we’re ready to start! Only, we’re not… First she has to check as there may be ‘two or three’ people who are on an IT course which has been relocated to a different site. Unfortunately, it turns out that the ‘two or three’ who hadn’t been notified are actually ‘six or seven’ in number and another five minutes are wasted confirming who is and isn’t meant to be at the other site and giving them directions. But, at last, we’re ready start – except we only manage to sign our names a couple of times before it’s time for a break at half past ten. A break from what?!

At last, we get down to something. Which turns out to be a literacy and numeracy test. How many times have I completed these because the quality of education in the UK is so bad that we cannot assume people can do simple things like read and write? Is it not possible for a box to be ticked somewhere so that the fact I can read, write and do math is recorded, saving not only my time and sanity, but copious amounts of paper, from being wasted on establishing the fact at regular intervals? Apparently not.

Then, more signing. Lots more signing. I’ve no idea what I’m signing. Possibly I’ve signed my soul away. By this point, I wouldn’t really care as, between signing things, I’m waiting for everyone else to finish signing so that we can sign something else, or hear a brief description of what we will be doing on the course. Mainly, it seems, that old favourite of telling us that the previous course was utterly wrong when they said the previous course said the course before was wrong about how they’d told us to layout our CV. By this point, I’m literally twiddling my thumbs and thinking of ways of killing myself as I rapidly lose the will to live. Just to make sure the day isn’t a complete waste of time, I read a copy of Fortean Times and then write some poetry. Unfortunately, that doesn’t even take me past the end of the lunch break. The only good news is that we won’t be going all the way till five. Phew!

The tutor is lacklustre and there are longueurs that stretch credibility – is anyone in the group really so inept at signing their name and putting the date that we must wait this long? Seriously? When she isn’t wittering on boringly, she mostly seems to be doing paperwork. I am not joking when I say that, out of the approximately five hours we sat in that room, if there was an hour of actual work, I’d be surprised. It’s not even as if it was anything worthwhile.

It is not merely that I have done this course at least half-a-dozen times before or that it is pitched waaaaay below my level, but that it is blandly taught and must seem boringly patronising to even the least capable people in the room. Today has been an utter waste of time and I’m holding little hope that any of the remaining eight days will be any better. (I can only be grateful that yesterday being a bank holiday saved me from having to sit through ten rather than nine days of tedium!)

The worst thing about this is that I could have been online doing jobsearch and potentially making actual progress towards finding a job instead of wasting my time. If the government wants to spend money on training, they should scrap this repetitive nonsense and fund some courses that would actually make us more employable. Somehow, I think the workers whose taxes are funding these things might prefer I was doing something to raise the odds of my coming off benefits rather than sitting around reading, writing poetry and twiddling my thumbs…